What Does it Mean to be a Proverbs 31 Woman?

Christian women are called to embody resilience, strength, patience, resourcefulness, gentleness, joyfulness, self control, and kindness, but many feel weighed down, angry, overwhelmed, drowning in motherhood, stuck in isolation, and on the edge of burnout. Why is this?

Let’s talk about it.

I feel a deep conviction to write about this topic because in response to feeling this way, many women are beginning to “deconstruct” their faith and question biblical living all together.

And I believe it is partly due to a poor theology of the human body and a misunderstanding of the concept of biblical womanhood, that has been passed down generationally.

Let me explain.

Over the years, when it comes to the concept of biblical womanhood, Christian circles have adopted a set of beliefs based on scripture, that define this concept and the concept of an “excellent wife.”

Countless sermons, biblical classes, and conferences are devoted to this concept and an example often given is found in the example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

She is often described as an excellent wife, who “selfless, full wisdom, diligence, generosity, strong, resourceful, and kind.”

Women are also taught to “deny themselves” and “pick up their cross and follow Jesus” based on His words in scripture, which are often taken out of context, and somehow has equated to running on empty and denying their physical needs.

Before a Christian woman is taught who she is in Christ, she is often taught everything she should not be, should not do, should not wear, should not long for, and to completely deny herself.

As a result, a woman’s faith often becomes at risk of being based on a bunch of “shoulds” and “check lists,” rather than an embodiment of who she is in Christ, what she can do, and the power she has through the power of the Holy Spirit and biblical living.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place to deny ourselves, and most of the other qualities taught are good qualities to strive for, but why do so many women get discouraged and feel as though they are falling short?

Or as if this is an unrealistic burden and suffocating, rather than an easy yoke as Jesus describes Christian living to be?

And what does becoming the Proverbs 31 woman actually require of us and tangibly look like?

The truth is, we should have a goal that involves more than just reading about and intellectualizing the Proverbs 31 woman and having conferences about her.

The invitation is to embody her.

I do not believe that her example is unrealistic, but I do believe a huge misunderstanding is occurring because we are failing to understand what it truly means to live as embodied Christian woman.

Embodiment is more than just a mindset. It includes our physical bodies. The interconnectedness of our minds, body, and Spirit.

And for a long time, the church as a whole has developed a poor theology of the physical body, confusing it with “the flesh” and I believe it is creating a downstream impact on women in the church (the Spiritual body).

We are often given a list of attributes to live up to, but the tangible, practical steps are often lacking. We think we can just read, pray, and then become something new and develop new qualities and habits.

But that is not how Spiritual formation works.

And when we do not take our physical bodies into consideration, it has a downstream impact on our mental and spiritual health.

For example:

It is hard to have strong arms & strength (Prov 31:17) and build muscle when you allow yourself to run in survival mode, on empty, and cortisol (the stress hormone) begins breaking down your muscle tissue, adrenals, and harming your health. This also often makes a woman feel on edge, irritable, and resentful towards others.

Or on the flip side, if you under eat nutrient dense food, and neglect or avoid exercise & movement. Your physical body will impact your mental & Spiritual body. It is a hard truth to swallow but it is written in your design.

It is hard to be resourceful (Proverbs 31:16) when your vision is limited because your body feels as though it’s resources are low due to constantly denying your physical needs, living in survival mode, and calling it “service” or clouded by envy, comparing your resources to someone else, feeling as though you are always lacking.

It is hard to be full of wisdom & kindness (Proverbs 31:26) when your Bible is shut or your schedule is so full you have little time to contemplate on Scripture.

And it is hard to be like a merchant ship and provide for your family (Proverbs 31:14) when your ship is sinking and losing buoyancy because you are not maintaining it.

In short, it is hard to embody godly attributes when you live a disembodied life.

So where do we go from here?

In order to fully understand what it means to embody the Proverbs 31 woman, we can not only turn to the Word of God, but we can also use our gift of logical thinking and reason.

So let’s reason together and zoom in on one example found in verse 14, where I mentioned an excellent wife is likened to a “merchant ship.”

According to history, during the time of King Solomon, merchant ships actively brought food to the kingdom of Israel. There were trade voyages that were completed in partnership with the Phoenicians. They were critical for nourishment & provisions for the prosperous kingdom.

Merchant ships were primarily made of wood, particularly the prized cedar of Lebanon.

I cannot say for sure, which type of wood was used to create this merchant ship mentioned in this verse, because it does not say, but we do know the Cedar of Lebanon is mentioned throughout the Bible in contexts of construction (1 Kings 5, 2 Chronicles 2).

Lebanese cedar wood was also popular for ancient woodworking and ship construction because it was durable, easily worked and shaped, and resisted decay in salt water better than most types of wood.

So what can we learn from this metaphor?

Wood in general requires maintenance. When it is molded into the form of a ship, it would have needed to be built in a way that offered protection from marine environment, in order to continue providing for the Kingdom. The ships required regular maintenance to remain seaworthy.

Are we teaching women to embody the Proverbs 31 woman, like a merchant ship, providing for her family, without also teaching women (young and old) what regular maintenance of her mind, body, and Spirit (aka her ship) requires to continue to sustain it’s mission?

Are we teaching her to run her physical body into the ground and then call it “natural aging and suffering” and just part of the human experience?

Logically we now know the maintenance for merchant ships included:

-Protection from barnacles and shipworms could create holes in the ship by damaging the wooden hull.

-Measures taken to prevent rot and decay, which required regular inspection.

-Cleansing the hull: over time, algae and marine growth would build up, so it needed to be scraped.

-Protective coatings: ancient builders used natural oils or resin based preparations to protect it from weathering and moisture.

-A skilled worker was needed to navigate the ship.

-Damage needed to be repaired after battle: merchant ships were sometimes attacked by pirates or enemies. These ships would have been vulnerable to damage from projectiles or ramming, and repairs would be a regular and necessary part of their care.

-A ship that did not receive regular maintenance would decay and sink. It was no longer resilient.

Some ships developed holes and sank and couldn’t sustain their mission.

Spiritually speaking, the embodiment of a merchant ship requires nourishment & maintenance. It involves caring for our mind, body, and Spirit.

Are we neglecting regular maintenance of our ship (mind, body, and Spirit) and then passing that along generation after generation?

If you are open to diving deeper into this, here is an invitation for self reflection:

-In what ways are you inspecting your ship and caring for your mental, physical, and Spiritual well being?

-Are you living in survival mode, maxing the capacity of your ship, at risk of sinking? If so, how can you increase your buoyancy?

-Where are the holes in your ship? Are you ignoring them, or actively seeking to repair them?

-Who is navigating your ship?

-Who is your anchor during rough waters?

A resilient ship has the capacity to travel great distances, nourish many souls, without sinking. In what ways can you build more resilience?

Biblical womanhood is more than just running ourselves ragged in the name of service, it is an invitation of the embodiment & stewardship of our physical bodies as well.

Want to learn what it means to live fully embodied? Join us inside the Aligned & Renewed Collective!

Read part two of this article here.

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