Updated: Apr 3
This will most likely not be a popular post, but I have some thoughts weighing heavy on my heart lately:
All over social media I constantly see posts about the importance of having self-confidence. And apparently that confidence comes from understanding the importance of “self-love” and “self-care.”
Please do not misunderstand...Yes, I believe these things have their place. Our bodies have been given as a gift to us, it is so important that we take measures to ensure our minds and physical bodies stay healthy. Jesus took time to rest and replenish His soul and body and spend time alone in prayer with God the Father. Rest and replenishing our minds often allows us to better serve those around us. But there has to be balance.
While "self-care" has it's place, I think we also need to remind each other that sometimes those feelings of inadequacy can be a gift that can draw us back to our Savior. And it is so much more important to hold fast to the confidence we have in Christ (Hebrews 3:6) instead of trying to hold fast to our unsteady self-confidence.
There are days when my self-confidence waxes and wanes. There are days when I feel unsure and struggle with certain things. And I know I am not alone because there is an epidemic of depression in our culture...
But I am thankful for those feelings because it reminds me that I need my Savior. It reminds me to dig deep into the Word of God and seek encouragement from His people. I no longer attempt to drown those feelings out. I embrace them.
Often, our culture tells us that the answer to our hurts is by indirectly numbing our pain with things like self-care, developing a deeper self-confidence, excusing our behaviors by listing our enneagram numbers, shopping for the next best outfit, eating till we cant breathe in the name of "I deserve this comfort food..." or maybe not eating at all because we think the number on the scale defines our self worth.
And then repeating it over again the next time we are stressed out.
But if this is the only answer, sisters why are so many still struggling?
I think it’s because we have forgotten where genuine healing and confidence comes from.
Genuine confidence does not come from convincing ourselves how “strong, capable, and resilient” we are...
After all, If we were so strong, capable, and resilient, why would we need Jesus?
What if we viewed those feelings of inadequacy as a reminder that we need a Savior. And channeled them towards developing a deeper, genuine confidence in Christ?
Scripture constantly encourages us to look to Jesus, not ourselves. I just hope we are not forgetting that...
We can be genuinely confident by resting in Jesus and the fact that despite us being weak, He is our strength.
We can be genuinely confident knowing that our confident faith is not in vain because what we believe is not just wishful thinking. It is found on genuine fact and reason.
Jesus Christ really did live and walk this earth. He really was a real person in history. He really did die on the cross for our sins. And He really did raise from the dead, conquering death. The Bible is truly inspired. Out of those historical facts, flow the implications for everything we are and everything God calls us to be in the Christian life.
A large part of following Jesus is dying to ourselves daily. I fear we are muddling the name of Jesus and doing this generation a huge disservice by constantly preaching self-care while claiming to follow the One who lowered himself to a servant and even washed feet. The answer is not always “self-love.” It might be self-denial.
Next time your sister is struggling, please don’t just tell her how great she is... don’t encourage her focus on herself or help her excuse her behavior because she's a number 7 on the enneagram... Encourage her to sit at the feet of her Savior, the one who supplies endless needs. Sit with her in her mess and remind her that although she may be weak, Her Savior is strong. Encourage her to find confidence in Him, not just herself.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2 If these thoughts resonated with you, please let us know. Don’t forget to subscribe to our site and connect with me on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/megantaylorr2/